PAIN! My horrible ordeal.

Boy, it's been a rough week. It started out last weekend when Ava and I headed down to Powell to spend some time with my parents while Chris was on call. We came a night early so we could go to a high school basketball game. The next day, Saturday, my mom was at work, my dad was taking a nap so Ava and I decided to run down the road to visit my Grandma Ruth.

As I was walking out the door, I was holding the diaper bag and the car seat (with Ava in it) in the crook of my right arm. I pushed the screen door open with my left arm. I almost walked to the car but then realized I needed to shut the main door. So I leaned over, twisted to grab the door with my left and BAM! I dropped the car seat and went to my knees. I'm still not sure how much damage was done but I'm pretty sure I blew a disk.

The pain since then has been excruciating. I could walk right after it happened but once I sat in my dad's lazy boy chair, I was stuck. Thank God my dad was home. It was -1 degrees that day and we were outside. He heard me yell and came and picked both of us up. Throughout the day, I tried to get up several times but the pain was so bad and had such a nasty bite that I couldn't get out of the chair.

My dad has had back problems and had some percocet on hand. I took two pills (after consulting with my doctor of course) and it didn't even touch the pain. I ended up trying to sleep in the chair but the pain and lack of sleep became unbearable. The final straw was the fact I hadn't peed in about 12 hours and I was about to pee in his chair. My muscles were spasming, I had to go to the bathroom badly and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to hold Ava or nurse.

After calling Chris nonstop (he was in Billings on call at St. Vincents), we decided to call an ambulance. I was hysterical and crazy with pain. I went to the ER, got some morphine to get the pain under control and then somehow managed to go back to my parents' house later that morning. Chris was with me by then. He took off early to drive to Powell to be with me.

I laid flat on my back that day. I couldn't nurse which killed me. I could barely make it to the bathroom with a walker. Thankfully, I had some good drugs and the swelling has slowly gone down. Chris had to go back later that day but my parents and grandmas have been taking care of me and Ava.

All this went down on Saturday and it's now Wednesday night. I don't need a walker but I still can't bend over, carry Ava or dress myself. 98% of the day is spent lying on the bed with a TENS unit. BUT, I can go to the bathroom by myself...even wipe. No small feat, I assure you. I had to create a handy little homemade contraption. Rather clever, I might add.

We'll head back to Billings on Saturday where my mom will stay until Sunday. Chris has the day off and Patti, Chris' mom, is coming to help for a week. Hopefully that will be enough time. In the meantime, I've started nursing again but I barely have any milk now. I'm actually kind of depressed about it. I did call the awesome ladies at the lactation place at Billings Clinic. They told me that once I get back to Billings, start using my pump nonstop, take some herbal supplement and nurse a lot and it will come back. In the meantime, I am to drink beer every day because the yeast boosts milk production. Who knew...Kind of funny drinking beer through a straw though.

The silver lining to this whole thing is huge. First, it happened in Powell. I could have been in a random gas station somewhere, or worse, by myself! My family has been amazing. Especially my dad. I have never felt so loved and nurtured by him. He has gone through this exact pain so it's helped him to be very sympathetic. My mom and dad have been my rock this week. Bringing me food, helping me walk, feeding Ava, playing with Ava, changing diapers, getting me drinks, arranging my pillows, etc. Incredible. Second, Ava has had MAJOR stranger anxiety lately and hasn't done well with anyone except Chris or me. Well, she's had no choice but to get used to others holding, feeding, changing, playing with her. Now, she gets all floppy and excited when my mom, dad or grandma's walk in the room. It's been so great to see her so happy with them. Finally, it's another chance to see Grandma Patti again. The circumstances suck but I am so thankful that she is willing to come out and help. Man, I am in a debt I'm not sure I can repay. I guess I can only express my gratitude.

From here, I am guessing that I will see an orthopedic doctor, go on physical therapy and slowly rehab. It'll be a long road. I just hope that I can be a good mom to Ava. I'm very concerned about that. So, those of you who pray, please send one...or two...or three up for me. Thanks!!